It doesn't have to be perfect.
There is freedom in being average or good enough.
Perfectionism was not born when the digital age of hyperconnectivity began, but it was definitely exacerbated by it.
People spend a lot of time making something perfect, getting the perfect shot, and writing the perfect caption or tagline for it. We try to make our outfits just the right kind of cool and casual so that we can post a photo of it. Our best days are also ruined by perfectionism because we want it to be like a dream and even one mishap ruins it.
I mostly write online so my perfectionism is mostly in my writing. I have found myself rewriting the same line multiple times to make it “perfect.” I spend 15 minutes on the first line or paragraph of the post because I don’t want it to be a simple “Hey everyone.” I look at formatting and readability far more than I probably should.
Once we start trying to make things perfect, it bleeds into everything. It took me a long time to stop critiquing my body shape and facial features because they’re not what I see on billboards or magazines. I still struggle with not making my coffee “aesthetic” because all I see are aesthetic coffee photos online. I don’t like that my nails don’t look good and don’t match my outfit when I dress up, even though the reason I keep them cut and plain is my eczema which matters more.
It takes conscious effort to stop stressing over perfection and go with the flow. You have to notice that you’re doing it or have someone tell you when they notice you doing it, and then stop. But that effort is worth it.
I’m not saying to never try to make things perfect. Spending extra time on outfits or photos during big life events is worth it because those memories are going to be “immortalised.” But striving for perfection every day robs us of so much time. It also drains us of energy. It’s worse because our standards keep rising.
When you’re a perfectionist, your 80% is more than most people’s 100%. This line is what helps me stop before I obsess over tiny improvements. Your “good enough” is still great. Stopping at “good enough” also gives you back a significant amount of time which you can use to rest or do something else.
I’ve been slowly working on stopping at “good enough” for a long time and I’ve actually made a lot of progress. It starts with the small things.
My phone screen. I used to spend a lot of time revamping my home and lock screens every year. I’d get bored and would spend hours creating a whole new theme and making it perfect down to every icon. Sometimes, it would look great but wouldn’t be great for usage. Now, I focus on making it quickly usable, add a good photo that I’ve taken on a trip, and stop.
My blog posts. I’m still not quite there yet, but I’m much better at free-writing and not rephrasing things multiple times. If a sentence feels good enough, I move on. This mindset helps me finish posts and move on to other ideas instead of spending weeks trying to make one post perfect.
My room. I was unhappy with my room and home for a long time because it didn’t look magazine-worthy (I thought that was the basic standard). Now, I’m happy with a functional room that looks good enough. It doesn’t look straight out of a Pinterest board but it is functional, comfortable, and cosy.
My outfits. I’m much better at dressing up to be comfortable and looking good enough most days. When I have a lot of time and energy, I dress up extra. But most times, I’m good with a regular outfit. Recently, I spent a lot of time trying to think of the right outfit for my first day at my new job but finally settled on one that I’ve worn before which is good enough. Not coming up with a new great outfit for a first impression was freeing.
Perfectionism materializes in many small things, not just the big stuff. Spending time on letting it go, even if it takes a good while, is worth it. It leaves more room for new opportunities, doing more of what you like, and resting.
catch up on…
Lovely Runner Kdrama Review — finally reviewed a Kdrama that I loved without worrying about doing justice to it.
A Five Letter Word for Love by Amy James || Book Review — an interesting premise but the story doesn’t make sense for the time it’s set in.
My 2024 Blog Stats — a deep dive into my blog’s numbers and insights on them.
I kind of love being imperfectly perfect!