The end of an era.

On reminiscing and moving on.

The new year vibes are fading and the general “busyness” is taking over again. Life around me has picked up more than I expected (the traffic on the main road near my house has become atrocious, I took 35 minutes to travel 4 kilometres last week) and I wish we spent more time being slow.

This January was my last month at my first job. It’s bittersweet because it also marked five years since I joined the company.

I joined as an intern in my last year of college and started working full-time after graduation. My work experience has been full of ups and downs (especially because I joined riiight before the first lockdown) and while it was hell at times, it was also great.

Since I’ve learnt a lot and taken ownership of a lot over the five years, my exit was a whole project. I worked on handing over my responsibilities and knowledge for an entire month. I planned it out and finished it on time. Only after that did I have time to realize that: oh yeah, I’m leaving soon.

I’ve been filled with mixed feelings for the last week or so. I don’t know how to explain my feelings either. I’ve been through so much in this workplace. It witnessed my change and growth over the years. I learnt who I am as an independent adult here.

My job was one-of-a-kind too because 24 of us joined as interns and continued working full-time. People moved on over time but the experience of working with a lot of people my age is unique. We had a lot of company while we learnt the ropes of corporate life.

The bond I had with my team here cannot be found again. I have so many cherished memories with the people I worked with because we became really good friends. I won’t lie, my first team had very stressful work and we were young kids trying to hold up a lot of the responsibility. Despite that, that time holds a special place in my heart.

While I’ve been feeling nostalgic and sad about leaving my friends here, my shoulders slowly dropped over the last 2 weeks. A few people who I handed over some things to remarked that they don’t know how I managed all of my responsibilities while also delivering work and helping others. My transition document was massive and 20+ people were assigned to take over different aspects of my work. When I say that it was a project to hand over things, I say it very seriously.

Slowly handing over responsibilities, not attending meetings, and letting other people do what I usually did was like taking rocks off my shoulders. I’ve been relieved in the past week. On one of my last days, I was actually bored for a bit and it was a new feeling. I didn’t know what to do! It felt very weird to scroll on my phone at my desk. I don’t think I ever had time to just sit at work without worrying about something.

On the day when I felt a bit bored, none of my friends were around because they were all super busy that day. I didn’t realize that a friend even came to the office until lunchtime. I’ve had others (even my teammates) tell me that they didn’t see me for half of the workday and it was the first time I said it to someone else. It made me realize just how much I was doing.

My colleagues kept a small farewell celebration for me on the last day which was so emotional. Although I know that I’ve worked with pretty much everyone, I didn’t expect everyone to show up together. There could be meetings or other work. Still, almost the entire floor came and the pantry was full. Everyone spoke about working with me and I spoke about them. It was a very emotional goodbye. I barely held back tears multiple times.

Five years is a long time to work in one place, especially in corporate. Out of my batch of interns, only one person is left in the company now. I’ve been through so much at my first job that it feels like the end of an era.

Random memories have been popping up in my mind in the last few days. The one glorious month at the office as interns before lockdown. Spending hours on calls working and chatting. That time when I cried through the last two hours of work and could barely work through my tears. My seniors giving me goodbye advice via text. Playing Table Tennis and Foosball at the office with so many people. Much-needed chai breaks. Looking up to see brilliant views from my desk on the 7th floor. Ordering every flavour of ice cream from a place because we were a big team that wanted to try everything. The morning when I burnt milk at the stove because I started working and forgot about it. Taking longer breaks in the evenings to have boba tea.

I’ll need a two-hour journalling session to pour all of my thoughts on paper. After that, I’ll focus on what’s coming next.

If you’re in the same boat as me, leaving something familiar to start something new, take the time to reminisce. Journal about it, talk about it with friends and family, or write an essay. Most importantly, spend time with the people whom you will miss. Soak up “the last times” because you won’t get another chance to. The end of an era deserves rapt attention.

While I’m sad about leaving, I’m excited for the next chapter. I have a short break before the new adventure to rest and recharge. There are new memories to be made and new challenges to conquer.

I’ll let you know how it goes.